When asked if they believed in God, have you ever heard

someone say, "I grew up in church"? Well.. for the majority of

my life, that was me. I was raised in a small Baptist church

whose members consisted only of my aunts, uncles, grandparents,

and cousins. As much time as I spent in the church, I never

really grasped the gospel for myself. Hadn't paid too much

attention between donuts after Sunday school and naps in the 

car on the ride home. This habit developed well into my teen

years, where the thought of walking in righteousness before

the Lord was the farthest thing from my mind.

 

It wasn't too long after starting high school that I lost my virginity.

Sending me into a boy frenzy and an attitude of "my body, my choice".

Not to mention, the girls I hung around, were already deep into

this kind of thinking. 

 

Years after high school, I became the girl who slept with whomever

she pleased, smoking, drinking, and even applied to a local strip club

that accepted 18-year-olds because at the time, I wasn't even 20 yet.

I lived a fast life, not second-guessing any decision I had ever made.

That was until after a routine STD check-up, I was given a call back.

I had been diagnosed with HSV-1 (Herpes). I felt disgusting, ashamed, not

unworthy of love. I hated myself and hid it from the world.

Life caught up to me. 

 

You would think that after such devastating news, something would change.

No.. I wallowed for a while, then went right back to what I knew.

Met a boy, dated, fell "in love", and he up and left. No notice, no discussion.

You see, during our relationship, God somehow grasped my attention

again. The boy and I went from just smoking weed to smoking weed

while reading the Bible (insane, I know. But God was working!) Engaging 

in intercourse to becoming abstinent. Listening to and making secular

music, to listening to gospel! Little by little, I was being led to a new life.

​

I can't describe the pain of getting your heart broken. But when he left, 

that's exactly what I felt. Broken. But it was the greatest setup for where

God was taking me. He had started to develop an interest for Him in 

my life. So even though I was torn from the breakup, I was being

wooed and comforted by the Lord. He was the only friend I had. I grew

and grew in love with Him, and it was the greatest thing I had ever felt. It was at this time, with Christ's help, that I devoted my life to Him. He helped me break strongholds in my life! Kicked my drug addiction (with a lot of relapsing),

stopped watching adult content (also, with a lot of relapsing), and was being molded into a woman of God.

 

​Fast forward a little less than a year, I met my now husband. I wasn't 

sure about getting into another serious relationship, but I was also praying

for a husband (women, right?! Lol). Christ had truly blessed me with the 

man of my dreams. The man I dreamed about as a young girl. 2 years into our marriage, we were given a baby boy. And you would never guess.. during

a routine blood test during my pregnancy, my results for HSV-1 came back

negative. 5 years, I battled with shame, 5 years, I felt unredemable.

Now here I was, either healed by God or misdiagnosed from the 

beginning. Either way, God used those 5 years to mold and shape my

character. 

 

Now here I am, 4 years into my walk with Christ, living a life I never would

have dreamed of. Not just because I went from seeking fame to baking

cakes, but because I am now set free. Redeemed. At peace with God and 

my dear friend, no matter what you've experienced, I am telling you...

You can be too.